Awesome High School Detective!
by RippedSenDen
Summary: Alfred F Jones was poisoned by honey, being highly allergic to it. The Principal then thrusts Gilbert Beilschmidt, the awesome punk to find out just who did it, otherwise everyone will come after his awesome face and so he can have a suspension. Based on the game High School Detective. High school AU, rated T for innuendos and foul language.
1. Enter Gilbert Beilschmidt!

**Hey, wassup guys? The name's RippedSenDen, and this is my first ever story! Which is multi-chaptered and based on the free, online game - High School Detective! 8D **

**Anyway, I was actually convinced by my buddy, HetaWriter - HetaReader to finally make an account and go on. Honestly, my work isn't exactly that professional like him, but hey, I dabble in literature, too! ^^;**

**That saying so, enjoy the story and my fail sense of humour! XD**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Hetalia. Hima-daddy does. I do NOT own High School Detective - I have no idea who owns it. Their owners own it. ^^;**

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It was a seemingly typical school day at World Peace High. Everyone was carrying about with their business: either yakking away to waste time, getting to class like suck-ups or to avoid detention, maybe even gossiping like queens…

Yup, it seemed like your typical day at a normal high school. But obviously, this was World Peace High, so something crazy must happen _sooner_ or later.

"NOOOOOOOOO! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Sure enough, a loud high-pitched scream rang through the air, causing many people to turn their heads around.

To everyone's shock (or not), Alfred F. Jones, the star quarterback of World Peace High, was sprinting through the school halls, accidentally banging the exchange student from Romania so hard, he caused him to fall over on his butt.

The American boy paid no heed to the Romanian's outraged curses and instead, barged past everyone else. He then ran to his locker and swung the door right open. He pulled out a mirror and peered at his own reflection.

The blonde's face was covered with red and puffy swells as well as huge boils, looking ready to pop at any moment from just the _teeniest _touch. They were hideously marring his once handsome and youthful face.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed again.

Meanwhile, in the gym, students were setting up for the upcoming prom, trying to decorate a place that smelled like sweat and body odour into a beautiful dance floor where bouts of _amour _were sure to happen.

Plans got interrupted however, as there was the sound of several people belching then finally, someone puked straight into the trashcan nearby.

One person puking soon became several people and not long after, loud screams echoed throughout the hallway as students began running out of the gym for dear life, covering their noses from the foul stench that now emanated within.

What nobody knew was that under the table, an odd snicker was heard.

"Kesesese!"

The History teacher, Mr. Adnan however, heard that little cackle and he yanked one of the tablecloths off from one of the tables, somehow miraculously able to keep the plates and cups on (was he a magician?). He glared down with angry eyes that were concealed behind a white mask at who was under it.

It was an albino Prussian student.

He was currently pouring what appeared to be a pale green powder into one of the punch bowls. His red eyes were glowing with manic glee, but quickly snapped to a duller light upon getting caught. He was wearing a checkered bandana and a dark blue shirt as well as black jeans and red converse. He was wearing a dog-tag that read, _'Gilbert Beilschmidt, King of Awesomeness, mother fuckers!' _on it, too.

Mr. Adnan swore in Turkish before screaming, "What the hell, Mr. Beilschmidt! To the Principal's office now!"

Gilbert rolled his eyes after his packets of powder were snatched away. He wiped some of the spit that landed on his face, too, "_Ja_, whatever…" he got up from under the table and placed his hands in the pockets of his jeans. "The awesome me was probably gonna end up there sooner or later."

"Look who's back, aru," the Principal, a young and rather feminine looking Chinese man named Mr. Wang, glared at the Prussian student once he entered his office. His ponytail neatly over his shoulder and his amber brown eyes were sparked with fury at the student. "Gilbert Beilschmidt."

"Yao-Yao," Gilbert said formally as he took a seat.

"It's _Mr. Wang_ to you," snapped Mr. Wang. He then crossed his arms over his chest, "What have you done this time, Gilbert, aru?"

"Oh, nothing too drastic," responded Gilbert casually as he leaned back in the chair, placing his feet up on the desk to Yao's disgruntlement. "Just poured my awesome mix of Ever Sucker's Puke powder in the punch."

"_What_?!" shrieked Mr. Wang almost cracking his glass of water. "You _spiked_ the punch at the prom?! No wonder the gym smells like a vomitorium, aru!"

Gilbert smirked as he leaned back even more, feeling _really _comfortable, "Since when was _'vomitorium'_ a word from the English dictionary?"

Mr. Wang face-palmed, "_Ai ya_!This is getting old, Gilbert, aru! And I have much bigger problems today. Alfred F. Jones just got poisoned this morning. Someone snuck honey into his protein shake powder and, being allergic to honey, he swelled up like a zit on a hemorrhoid, aru! His eyes are swollen shut, he can't stop scratching, and he most certainly cannot play in tomorrow's big game against Scandinavia High, aru."

Gilbert gave a half-hearted shrug, "Shame to that guy…"

"Hey, I just got an idea, Beilschmidt," Mr. Wang said, perking up slightly. "I know you were looking forward to a suspension, but it's not going to be that easy, aru. I'm putting you to work! You're going to help me find out who used honey, a sweet and delicious treat, for evil, aru!"

"The awesome me?" Gilbert smirked as he rested his hands behind his head.

"It takes a delinquent to catch a delinquent, aru," Mr. Wang said with a shrug.

Gilbert leaned back more in the chair (how the hell did he not fall off it?), as he simply pondered, "So…the awesome me just has to solve this thing and I get a suspension?"

Mr. Wang nodded, "You have until the end of the day, aru. If you fail, then I'm pinning the whole thing on you."

"What? Hey! That's not fair! What the hell?!" protested Gilbert now perking up in his seat. "If you do that, then the awesome me becomes the most wanted man on campus, and not in a good way! Are you _trying _to have my awesome ass kicked?!"

"So, bring me the honey or the football team will make your face look real funny," Mr. Wang said seriously.

"Fuck…"

"No swearing in my office, Gilbert, aru!" Mr. Wang cleared his throat. "But anyway, you get what I'm saying, aru? You get it, right? They'll kill you, aru!"

Gilbert snorted, his voice dripping in sarcasm, "Haha, very funny…fuck…" as soon as he exited the Principal's office, the Prussian student ran a hand through his rather messy, silver-white hair. "Damn it!" he swore to himself as he kicked one of the lockers nearby. "Where should I even start looking? Hmm…" he began to think carefully,

'_I can go to the fields and try and ask Jones' teammates…or I can go to the Nurse's office and check up on Jones himself…'_

In the end, since he couldn't make up his mind, Gilbert decided to toss a coin.

"Heads, I go to the fields to ask Jones' teammates. Tails, I go to the nurse's office to just check up on the American guy," Gilbert said to nobody in particular. At once he flipped the coin and allowed it to drop to the floor with a small clang.

He looked down at it to see what had landed.

"Heads it is then," Gilbert shrugged. "Looks like the awesome me's gotta go to the fields now."

He journeyed over to the football fields to talk and question with Alfred's teammates and hopefully be able to finish the case quickly.

Unfortunately…

"Get off the field, albino doofus!" snapped one of the players as Gilbert stepped into the football fields. He pushed him roughly, bumping him into another player.

"Ack!" Gilbert was caught off guard as he backed off

"What are you staring at?" the player that Gilbert bumped into asked sharply, glaring down at him.

"Ahh!" Gilbert yelped again.

"Get him!" another screamed.

"_Scheiße_!"

Alas, Gilbert was unable to escape the football fields in time and was at once, tackled and dog piled by the whole remaining football team. When he finally recovered himself, Gilbert decided to go to the nurse's office to get an ice pack for his poor, awesome head, as well as hopefully just lie down and rest his bruised body and his bones. And maybe sneak a few peeks at the nurse with her short, tight dress…

Oh yeah! He could also talk to Jones there, too.

* * *

**Concludes Chapter One - haha, I always liked Prussia; he cracks me up a lot. XD anyway, how was it so far? Like it? Hate it? Care to tell me?**

**Peace out, guys! :)  
- RippedSenDen 8D**


	2. A Meeting With a Hot Nurse

**Yo guys! I'm back with another chapter! :D**

**Anyway, I gotta give a HUGE thanks to Teshikameku and for the fave AND the follow! And a special mention to HetaWriter/HetaReader (a.k.a. Heta-kun XD) for the fave, follow AND the review!**

**HetaWriter/HetaReader: **Yeah, well...took me a while to think up of something to post before this account became a waste. XD This one I decided to put on because I actually liked it better than my other shit. And come on, man! I ain't that gifted and seriously, you are pro! 8D Lol, yeah that's why he's the awesome Prussia and why we love him! And yeah, I seriously just had to add Romania and Turkey in there - I couldn't resist it! XD

**Let's move on with this thang! 8D**

* * *

Inside the Nurse's Office, Gilbert caught sight of the nurse straight away – a beautiful Belgian woman named Emma van Stein. She currently had a sponge in her hand and was tending to Alfred who was moaning in bed while wearing a really flimsy hospital gown.

Gilbert's eyes popped slightly; damn Mr. Wang wasn't joking about that American boy's face resembling a zit on a hemorrhoid – seriously, the Prussian was afraid that one of those bad-boys would pop if Alfred simply just turned his head a little.

"Why do I need a sponge bath?" groaned Alfred in an awfully nasally voice as he glanced up at Nurse Emma with really tired eyes. "The swelling's just in my face. Where are my pants, dudette?"

"Oh, hush," Nurse Emma said gently with her trademark cat-like smile. "It says right here on the bottle: lather, rinse, repeat! You can't argue with directions."

"Gilbert? Dude, is that you?" Alfred asked weakly as the Prussian student cautiously came closer. The American boy squinted his eyes as he cried, "I can't see…oh, God, I can't see! It's just not fair!"

Gilbert scratched his head and arched an eyebrow when he saw that to his right, on the chair just beside Alfred's bed, the American boy's denim skinny jeans were just lying there. The Prussian picked them up at once and shook them in front of the American boy's face, "Hey look, the awesome me found your pants."

"Let me see those!" Nurse Emma suddenly snatched the pants from Gilbert and tossed them away. "This is no time for pants," the Belgium woman said simply after looking at Gilbert's shocked face.

A little creeped out by the response, Gilbert shrugged as he planted his awesome behind on the seat next to Alfred's bed. "Now, tell me, seriously – what the hell happened to you?" the Prussian inquired.

"Okay," Alfred gave a small nod. "I was born in a hot tub in my uncle's living room…sports always came easy to me…when I was twelve, I realized that…"

"I didn't mean from the start of your whole damn life, _dummkopf_!" Gilbert said exasperated. Why must his job be so difficult? "I don't give a damn about that…no offence…" he added quickly after seeing Alfred's hurt expression.

It was a hideous sight to behold.

"Shhh…" Nurse Emma pressed a finger to her lips, "Leave him alone; he's exhausted."

The Prussian student rolled his eyes and took out a pocket mirror from the pocket of his own jeans; he might as well have some fun while he was here and wasting time, "Hey, it's not _that _bad, man. You still look fine; you can pull it off," nobody noticed the evil glint in his crimson eyes.

"Really? I still look okay?" Alfred took the mirror from the Prussian student but wailed upon looking at his reflection. "Oh God! No!" he cried. "I look like a German Shepherd!"

Gilbert's eye twitched at the comment, but before he could make a remark, the nurse spoke up. "That's not a mirror, Alfred. That's my headshot," remarked Nurse Emma. "Alfred is extremely vulnerable right now. And I love it."

"Wait, what?" Gilbert asked, unsure if he heard right.

"I mean; I love that I can help care for him, like nurses do," explained Nurse Emma quickly as she gave a nervous laugh. "He's so strong. So powerful. And he needs me, needs me bad. Don't you Alfred, honey?"

"Don't say honey!" seethed Alfred, getting reminded of what ruined his face.

"Sorry, baby," apologized Nurse Emma sheepishly.

Suddenly, the door opened and a young boy entered with a wedgie. Gilbert identified the boy to be, Raivis Galante; a short, Latvian student with sandy, blonde hair, violet eyes and a rather shy demeanour to boot. "Excuse me, Nurse van Stein?" Raivis asked with a sigh as he was rubbing at his butt.

"Did those mean boys hang you up by your underwear again?" Nurse Emma questioned the Latvian boy.

Raivis nodded, "Yes, they call it the atomic wedgie (ouch). Can I have some ice, please?" once he was handed an ice pack, he settled it onto his bottom and gave a big sigh of relief.

"I don't know why you insist on being the school mascot, Raivis," noted Nurse Emma with a heavy sigh. "Why don't you stick to safer activities like chess club, the Mathletes or wheezing?"

'_Is wheezing even an activity?' _Gilbert wondered, still unsure if he heard correctly. He shook his head, remembering what he was even there for in the first place. "Uh, anyway," the Prussian student cleared his throat and turned his attention back on Alfred. "Do you know anyone who would want to do this to you?"

"I'm the hero of this school," responded Alfred. "Everyone loves me! Why would they wanna take down the hero like that? Unless they're like a super-villain, that totes just doesn't happen, bro!"

"Right…" Gilbert said, wondering how the hell this guy could even make it into the school in the first place. Then again, he's seen dumber, which was saying a lot.

"Anyway, the only person I ever fight with is my girlfriend, Felicia. And she's not even my girlfriend now. Wait…" Alfred stopped for a moment to think. "Maybe she is. We're always breaking up and getting back together – it's so confusing…"

"On-off relationships suck, man," remarked Gilbert with a big sigh. "Just don't date."

"But you get a wonderful, bro," said Alfred, his face crinkling to a smile, making Gilbert wince. "It's a cool feeling…why not try a relationship for once, man?"

"Never! I'm too awesome for relationships!" declared Gilbert, getting annoyed. "I don't need anyone! I'm fine on my own!"

"Well, anyway, Felicia gave me this rabbit's foot to wear so everyone would know I'm hers," added Alfred, weakly holding up a peach-coloured rabbit's (is there even such a colour for a rabbit?) foot threaded with black string. "Oh God…" he sighed. "I can't let Felicia see me like this!"

Nurse Emma rolled her eyes, "Felicia is immature. Alfred, you need someone with a little…_experience_, and who knows what she wants."

Raivis gave a dreamy sigh, "Mmm, Felicia…she talked to me once.

_-Cue flashback…-_

_Little Raivis was just walking with a pile of books in his arms as he looks up, noticing a goddess walking down the hall._

_She had her silky, dark brown locks swept up into a high ponytail and a hand placed on her finely curved hip as she floated down the hallway. _

_Raivis was in her way._

"_Raivis, can you move?" she asked politely._

_Raivis simply stared up at her, lost in those amber pools that swam with tints of tawny and ginger._

"_Raivis!" she was calling him plenty of times, but he wasn't responding. Felicia rolled her eyes and simply moved around him as she sighed, "Geez Raivis…you're acting like a freak…"_

_Raivis just continued watching after her, his heart (literally) rapidly beating out of his chest now from the encounter._

_-End flashback-_

"That was awesome," sighed Raivis, still googly-eyed.

"_Right_…" Gilbert scratched his head – was everyone here really this lame?

"Are you still here?" questioned Nurse Emma. She suddenly closed the blinds around Alfred's bed, concealing everything from view.

"Hey! What the hell?" Gilbert protested and immediately opened the blinds.

"Hey! This ain't no free show!" snapped Nurse Emma as she closed the curtains again.

"That's so not awesome, _frau_!" Gilbert shouted back.

"My butt is chilly…" groaned Raivis as he rubbed the ice pack more on his sore butt.

Gilbert arched an eyebrow at the Latvian boy's remark, but his red eyes suddenly caught onto something on the Nurse's desk right next to her mug of coffee and plate of waffles. Coming closer, he picked up a little jar, inspecting the label.

Honey.

Upon opening the little jar, he could also see that quite a good amount of it was used up, too.

Suddenly, Nurse Emma came back out, still holding the sponge.

Gilbert cleared his throat as he quickly put the jar behind his back and screwed the lid back on, "Can you examine me next?"

"Wait your turn, sailor," said Nurse Emma gently.

"Are you seriously a real nurse?" questioned the Prussian student, extremely doubtful.

"Yes!" Nurse Emma gave her signature smile that looked like a cat's muzzle. "I played one in a Kid Rock video and never looked back."

"Really? Then, is this the honey you used to poison Alfred F Jones?" questioned Gilbert in an accusing tone.

Nurse Emma was outraged at his inquiry, "_What_?! How dare you! I'm a nurse! I _heal _people! Why would I want to hurt Alfred?"

Gilbert gave a half-hearted shrug, "Everyone knows you're practically in love with the guy but the guy himself. Now that he's injured, you get to spend all day tending to him, pampering and massaging him. Plus…you're one _really _naughty nurse." He wriggled his eyebrows at the last comment he made as he gave a smirk.

"Alfred and I are just _friends_!" snapped Nurse Emma in disgust. "_Good _friends. There's nothing going on…why, does he talk about me? Now _get out_!"

And with that, with suddenly superhuman strength, she (literally) kicked Gilbert right out of her office.

Gilbert groaned as he rubbed his butt, "Why the hell does everyone always aim for my awesome ass? Geez…what got her panties in a twist, anyway?" he picked himself up though and brushed the dust off his shirt. "Well…I guess I gotta go off to Cheerleading Practice and get a date with a hot Italian chick."

* * *

**To those who've played High School Detective, yeah I made Felicia/Nyo!Italy Bunny, but I changed the dialogue a bit because Felicia's not a bitch like Bunny. XD And yes, I can't resist making Emma/Belgium the hot nurse - it kinda suits her, honestly... *shot and brick'd***

**So, like it? Hate it? **

**Peace out, guys! 8D  
- RippedSenDen**


	3. The Sexy, Italian Cheerleader Girlfriend

**What up guys? Back with more Awesome High School Detective! 8D**

**Anyway, BIG-ass thanks goes to American50Amber for the follow and to PASTA300 for the fave! Gotta give a shout-out to all those who reviewed, too! HetaWriter/HetaReader (Heta-kun), Teshikameku and PASTA300! 8D**

**HetaWriter/HetaReader: **What? That was totally called for! XD Lol, yeah I always loved that bit - especially when he's like, "Oh God, Nuuuu!" and yeah, that bit, too! (And come on, we all know already that Spain's ass is sexy- *shot and brick'd* thanks for the reviews, buddy! But you don't have to do this as much; I can just show you, man! 8D

**Teshikameku: **Thank you very much! =^^= Hey, I try, but I'm not on par with my friend's, really. XD

**PASTA300: **I will! 8D

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Hetalia - Hima-daddy owns it. I also DON'T own High School Detective - whoever made it owns it. XD**

**Now, continue on!**

* * *

Gilbert soon found himself returning to the football fields, however he made sure this time to go around the edges out of the path of a raging player.

He soon found himself watching from the bleachers as the cheerleaders did their thing – kicking their sleek, long legs high up. Their skirt ruffles easily billowing in the breezy wind, their perfect locks of shiny, silky tresses just floating by in the wind…

The Prussian student shook his head and slapped his forehead; he was almost under the accursed thing known as the _"cheerleader's charm"; _the thing that made them totally irresistible to other people. Gilbert swallowed the lump in his throat as he watched a cheerleader in particular at the front.

She was gorgeous; her auburn hair was tied up into a high ponytail, except for a stray curl that was bouncing on her left. Her tawny eyes were shining as she kicked her heel up and the other cheerleaders followed suit. Her figure was perfectly curved like that of the statues of women in the Renaissance and…

'_What the fuck?!'_ Gilbert swore in his head as he slapped his forehead again. _'She's supposed to fall for _my _awesome charm! So she can tell me if she poisoned that dummkopf or not!' _seeing the cheerleaders then have a drink and finally go separate ways, Gilbert finally exhaled and leapt down from the bleachers, swaggering up to the Italian cheerleader.

"_Guten tag_, Felicia," Gilbert said with a roguish grin, putting on the charm.

Felicia turned around and blinked, "Oh…_ciao_, Gilbert."

'_Okay, what the hell do I say to her?' _Gilbert wondered to himself. _'Hmm…'_ he then spoke up, "Hey, I heard that cheerleaders are stupid, is that true?" The Prussian student almost slapped himself; _that _was a stupid question.

Much to his surprise, Felicia responded quite breezily, "No, I can conversate with smart people as good as anybody."

"Err…" Gilbert arched an eyebrow. _'What the fuck? Conersate? That's not even a word!' _the Prussian shook his head as he remarked, "You know? I think that Belgian nurse, Nurse Emma, has a crush on Alfred."

"Oh…" Felicia waved a nonchalant hand that was holding a pom-pom. "It doesn't bother me. I'm used to it." Then much to Gilbert's shock, she then snarled, "I'll _kill _her!"

'_Shit, did she go uh…what was that phrase that Kiku used in his anime? Uh…yandere? I think that's it, ja!'_ Gilbert was getting disturbed; it seemed Felicia was quite unstable with the subject of Nurse Emma. So instead, the Prussian asked, "Well, anyway, are you and _Herr _Alfred still dating?"

"No, Gilbert, you ratty, little burnout," sniffed Felicia, now looking irritated. "Alfred and I are _always_ together. Even when we're not together, we're together, got it? Just because he looks like he was mauled by a big, brown bear doesn't mean I'd break up with him! What kind of person would do such a thing?"

Gilbert winked, "I love it when you act mentally imbalanced, _frau_. It's hot."

Felicia then giggled, "_Grazie_, you get me!"

"Anyway," Gilbert continued. "Six months ago, you punched out the _frau _that Alfred broke up with you for."

"Yeah? Well, she deserved it!" snapped Felicia, pouting. "She was coming in between Alfred and me. Alfred doesn't love her, he loves _me_. And sometimes love hurts. Like when I slapped that man-stealer upside the head with the bamboo handle of my Gucci bag, _ouch_. That's what love feels like!"

Gilbert arched an eyebrow; progressively getting more frightened as the conversation wore on. Honestly, he thought that Felicia would just be bubbles and sunshine, but it looks like she had a tough and scary side, too. The Prussian student then asked with caution, "Can…you spell Gucci?"

Here, Felicia's expression was contorted to one of great concentration. She stuck her tongue out and responded, "G…_uchi_?"

Gilbert sighed, _'Honestly, I don't really like ditzy people, but…focus, Gilbert! Focus! Use your awesomeness and charm to keep it going! It's working!' _The Prussian student shook his head and continued, "Well, if you didn't do it, _frau_, do you have any idea who did?"

"You know how Alfred is," sighed Felicia. "Walking around like he owns the world, flunking in math, occasionally slamming bullies into lockers…all that? There are tons of people who would want to take him out. Think about it, Gilbert! Who had the most to gain? What about Lars Van der Vilde? He's the second string quarterback and with Alfred out of the way, he'll be starting QB in the big game this Friday. That snake's always had it in for Alfred."

Gilbert arched an eyebrow and nodded, a smile creasing onto his pale face, "You know, I like the way you think. You're pretty smart for a cheerleader."

"Thanks," beamed Felicia. "You're pretty cute for a creep."

Inside, the Prussian student was steaming, "_Creep?! The awesome me?! Why I oughta-!'_ he spoke up quickly, "Has Alfred ever slammed _you _in a locker?"

"Yes," sighed Felicia dreamily. "That was my anniversary present…"

Gilbert's red eye twitched as he thought, _'What the hell?' _he then cleared his throat as he pointed at the Italian girl, "Are you sure it wasn't _you_ who did it?"

"Get real," Felicia arched an eyebrow at the Prussian student. "Somebody poisoned Alfred's protein powder, which he keeps in the men's locker room. Do you really think that I could walk into the men's locker room without getting noticed?" while she spoke, her amber eyes were twinkling as she fluttered them in Gilbert's direction.

The Prussian student gulped as he ran his hand through his silver-white hair. He quickly asked before he was tempted "Okay! So, you think Lars Van der Vilde was the one who poisoned Alfred?"

Felicia groaned in frustration, "Get the wax out of your ears, Gilbert! Lars is _insanely _jealous of Alfred! Why do I have to do _all _the thinking for you? You know that's not my strength!" she then dismissed him by walking towards the girl's locker room to go shower and cool herself as she was still sweaty.

Gilbert honestly felt a bit suspicious, and tried to follow.

Unfortunately, some other cheerleader caught him and screamed at the top of her lungs, practically shattering his ear drums.

"Hey! You can't come in here!" shrieked the cheerleader. "If you want to see me naked, go to my Facebook page!"

"Oh _mein Gott_!" Gilbert's jaw dropped upon hearing that. "Uh…bye!"

And with that, the Prussian quickly ran off before he could further scarred from any more words or possibly get his awesome butt kicked. He sighed as he ran a hand through his hair again, "Damn…this shit is getting hard actually! Well…" he shrugged as he put his hands in the pockets of his jeans. "Looks like the awesome me's gotta go and meet up with a pot-headed Dutchman…" he heaved a sigh. "Damn…just brilliant…"

* * *

**Shorter chapter, but hey, it's a short interview that Duncan had with Bunny. XD This one's probably lacking, compared to the other two, but I tried to use my fail sense of humour here. If it sucked, then I'm sorry for my fail. TTnTT**

**Anyway, like it? Hate it? Tell me! XD**

**Peace out, y'all!  
- RippedSenDen 8D**


	4. A Snarky Pot-Headed Dutchman

**GWAAAAAAAHHHH! Sorry for not updating in a while! D8 But I was busy as fuck! But hey, I'm back and I'm gonna post the next chapter tomorrow, too to hopefully make amends. *offers cake* it's not a lie! ...not really...*w***

**Anyway, thanks goes to mvdolphin for the follow! 8D**

**Teshikameku: **Kesesesese! 8D sorry it's shorter, but this one's longer! ;D of course! Nothing is awesome without ZE AWESOME PRUSSIA! 8D

**PASTA300: **REALLY?! You like my crap?! 8D *glomps* lol, I'm glad Felicia was funny! It took me a while to try and think up her character without making her bitchy. XD

**HetaWriter/HetaReader: **What?! But...fine! Waste your reviewing time on me! Xp Lol, just kidding. XD That really means a lot to me, man. :) Your crits and words are really honest, so...I SHALL TAKE YOUR WORD FOR IT! 8D

**Disclaimer:** **Anyway, own jack shit. Ze awesome Hetalia is owned by Hima-daddy while ze High School Detective Game is owned by...awesome people. XD**

**Go, go, go! 8D**

* * *

And so, our awesome Prussian detective continued on his valiant quest to find out just who poisoned Alfred F Jones and made his face look hideous. He had confronted trolls (who _so _didn't kick his ass), a bewitching witch with a cat-like smile, and a really beautiful fairy who had a scary side to her.

Now, he was going to meet a pot-headed prince.

Gilbert rubbed his head as he entered the Trophy Room. Upon setting foot in there, he could see Lars Van der Vilde already inside.

Sometimes the Prussian student wondered why Lars was the second violin to Alfred – he was more cunning and he appeared stronger, plus he was older.

'_Eh, that could be it,' _Gilbert thought, to himself, bored stiff as he watched Lars begin polishing a crest with a clean, white cloth. _'Old people tend to suck more than young people in this kind of shit…'_

It was when the spiky-headed blonde began mumbling in a creepily quiet voice that Gilbert became the _least _bit interested. He moves a bit closer, and leaned slightly forward, not alerting the Dutchman of his awesome being. Upon closer inspection, Gilbert could see that the crest that Lars was cleaning and polishing over and over again was his family crest.

It was a known fact around campus that Lars came from a really rich people. And by rich, he meant _really _rich. Lars' family was an old, traditional Dutch family, who started out poorly, but somehow, made it to the top.

Gilbert snorted, _'Damn rich people…bah! Whatever! I'm awesome! Awesomeness beats riches _any _fucking day!'_

The Dutchman's back was facing the Prussian as he continued his grumbling. "Have to polish the family crest," he murmured as the squeaking from the polishing continued. The Dutchman's pale green eyes became dull and unseeing as he scrubbed and cleaned some more. "I wonder, why do I feel so compelled to do this every time I walk by one?" he wondered aloud.

It was also a known fact that Lars' family weren't pushovers, either.

Gilbert snorted, _'So the guy's rich, he's cunning, _and _he's sporty! I'm still _ten _times awesomer than he is!'_

However, the Prussian student was interrupted by his thoughts when Lars was now scrubbing and polishing like mad, the squeaking from his chore ripping the air. The Dutchman himself was breathing erratically as he said, "Polish to the right…polish to the left…A-B-C…monkey, monkey, monkey!" he shouted the last bit. "One, two!"

For some reason, much to Gilbert's shock, the Dutchman then hopped on one foot.

Lars sighed in relief as he placed his hands on his knees and ran a hand through his dirty-blonde spikes. "Ah…" he licked his lips. "That sure beats washing my hands seven hundred and eighty three times a day…"

'_Mein Gott!' _Gilbert thought in alarm. _'He's the most terrifying OCD I've ever met!' _

It was then, that Lars finally chose this time to notice Gilbert. The Dutchman glared at the Prussian, "What the hell do you want?"

"What the hell are you doing?" Gilbert asked in response.

"Cleaning," snorted Lars. "That a crime or something?"

Gilbert gave a half-hearted shrug as he gazed around the room in interest. Honestly, though the Prussian student couldn't be even half-assed to participate in his schoolwork, he always wondered about sports and whether or not he should put the effort in actually trying out for a team.

It was probably why here, Gilbert then questioned, "Hey, do you think I'd be able to join a team, _Herr _Lars?"

Lars narrowed his eyes, "What team? The albino, super-ego team?"

Gilbert bristled, but then noticed the crest again. His red eyes flashed evilly as he thought to himself, _'I'm a terrible person…an awesome, but terribly person…'_ he then cleared his throat and pointed at the family crest that Lars was scrubbing just a minute or so earlier. "I think I can see a smudge still on that family crest of yours," the Prussian pointed to a random spot on the crest.

Straight away, Lars panicked as he began scrubbing and polishing the crest like mad, the squeaking becoming _way _too loud for Gilbert's comfort.

"Aah! Polish to the right! Polish to the left! A-B-C! Monkey, monkey, monkey! One, two!"

Gilbert cracked up laughing as he pointed at Lars and how ridiculous he looked, "Kesesese!"

Lars huffed after cleaning and doing his odd hop, clearly unamused, "Don't make me do that again!"

Gilbert shrugged, but decided to get back to business so he could just get his damn suspension from Yao-Yao already. "Well, anyway, Principal Yao-Yao's got me looking into Jones' poisoning," said the Prussian student. "Got any ideas?"

"No," Lars shook his head. "But it's a real shame someone poisoned that guy…I'm all broken up about it…" he then covered his eyes with his arm and for a moment, Gilbert was surprised to hear actual sobbing coming from the Dutchman.

For a moment…

When Lars straightened his posture and looked up with a high head again, he looked deadly serious. "Oh, well," said the Dutchman in such a cold voice, that Gilbert visibly shivered. "I've got a game to quarterback tonight."

The Prussian student rubbed his chin, now suspicious, "Hmm…when was the last time you actually cried?"

"I cried just then," Lars said frostily. He took a step forward and glowered down at Gilbert. "You _saw _it just then…"

Gilbert raised his hands as he immediately took a step back, "Okay, okay! I did! _Ja_! _Mein Gott_…" the Prussian was getting tired of this, so he decided to just cut down to business. "So you're glad that Alfred can't play, then?" Gilbert inquired.

"Of course I'm glad that fool can't play," snorted Lars. "I've waited long enough to be starting QB. I don't like to wait; it makes me irate."

"And saying a rhyme, is a fucking crime," mumbled Gilbert.

"Shut up, albino doofus."

"Why don't you, rich boy?" snapped Gilbert, now _really _just wanting to get this case over and done with; why the hell was everyone either so damn retarded, or so damn difficult? Seriously! "How rich is your family, anyway?"

"Ha!" Lars scoffed as he then took out a pipe from the pocket of his large coat. "Let me put it this way…the last time I made a deposit at the bank, I got a standing ovation!"

Gilbert then snapped his fingers, "Aha! It looks like _you _had the most to gain from Jones' poisoning! Am I right, or am I awesome?!"

Lars rolled his eyes as he lit his pipe and took a puff in it, unleashing a smoky cloud. "You are neither, but who you accusing? Me?" the Dutchman gave a dry laugh at Gilbert's annoyed expression. He then beckoned the Prussian student to come closer.

Gilbert took a wary step closer, unsure of what the Dutchman wanted. He then leaned closer as Lars leaned forward…

…and the Dutchman whispered into Gilbert's ear some juicy info.

"I'll let you in on something," murmured Lars. "The person with the most to gain ain't me – it's Coach Kirkland."

"Seriously?" Gilbert arched an eyebrow as he broke away. "Are you shitting me? The Scottish coach?"

Lars nodded as he took another puff on his pipe, "That guy has _major _gambling debts; he once tried even betting against our own team. Why not try talking to him about it instead of bothering me? He's always got it in for Jones ever since the first game…"

Gilbert rubbed his chin, red eyes narrowed, but eventually nodded, "Okay, fine. You're clean…for now…"

Lars simply rolled his eyes as he chuckled darkly, "I was _always _clean…" he then blew a puff of grey-white smoke straight into Gilbert's face.

* * *

**Sorry if I'm being all bouncy, but I feel so hyper even though it's freaking almost 4 in the morning here in Australia. XD the next chapter's gonna be up tomorrow! 8D**

**You like it? You hate it? Tell meeeeeee...**

**Peace out, y'all!  
- RippedSenDen 8D**


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